So, I had a wild day yesterday, let me tell you about it. So, I’m working on a novel that centers around the Memphis PD. Fortunately for me I know a couple cops with a tremendous since of patience and a fantastic since of humor. I have been calling, texting, emailing with some crazy questions.
(example: Let’s say you are at an intersection with a hooker wearing a skintight dress. She is hiding a pistol under one breast. It is pretty obvious something is wrong, cause one side is sticking out the other is lying more flat. What is the protocol for searching her?)
How would you answer that one? These are questions the writers struggle with. Anyway, my officer friend asked me. “Would you be interested in doing a ride along?”
This resulted in a series of rapid fire questions: Are you going to arrest anyone? Can we bust into a crack house? Do you think we’ll get into a gun fight? Can I get tazed?
“Do you want to be tazed?”
“Uh, I didn’t mean for that last one to be said out loud.”
“If you want tazed, we can probably do that.”
“If you get me the ride along…. I’ll let you taze me when we are done.”
With that opportunity, paperwork happened and I got to be “Cop for a day.”
I went out and picked up a black swat team outfit, and a toy badge.
After a brief tour and some tips: “If I say stay in the car, you stay. Got it?”
We jumped in a cruiser and off we went.
Our first case. Was a suspicious cooler, stuffed full of body parts. After my in-depth review and superior detective skills. I deduced that a deer hunter ran out of ice and rather than taking home a cooler of decaying animal parts, He’d leave them for the PD to clean up. Sorry I should have warned you some of these cases are not so pleasant.
second case. Involved growing and cultivating a herb garden, and selling some off the produce. (That is as specific as I’m going to get. I didn’t ask permission to share – so EVERYTHING IN THIS IS MADE UP – this really happened)
Third and final case. Involved and Boyfriend and his soon to be ex-girlfriend. He was using her phone to call his NEW girlfriend. There might have been a fight, and the man might have been pushed down a staircase. (He landed in a puddle as was NOT happy about getting dirty.)
Over all I was there on a cold rainy day, the the third most violent city let me down.
So as the ride-along ended, I was informed a bit of good news. The tazing had not yet been approved, so I would not be getting shocked.
It was suggested that I try it again sometime, perhaps a weekend in the summer, during a full moon. That is when all the crazies come out.